Showing posts with label Los Angeles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Los Angeles. Show all posts

Saturday, October 10, 2015

MISERY doesn't love Company: Fans sweat Don Mattingly's Decision in Game 1 NLDS

It was absolutely miserable last night at Chavez Ravine...




                                                         Beautiful, but disgusting.

Rolling up to the Stadium was no "big deal."  Thank you, Magic Johnson.  



And, the energy was absolutely electric. 

What we didn't know was how electric Jacob deGrom's fastball would be in this static air that filled the night's sky. He was clocking regularly at 97 mph.

The fans were loud.  The sparsely placed Mets' Fans also attempted their chants, in unity, making sure that Dodgers' Fans knew they were present.  Personally, I respect that.  A visiting chant goes off like, "Let's Go M e t s .." It continues and builds amongst a handful of the orange, black, and blue littered about, and, soon enough BOOS rain down upon them, drowning them back to the rat-infested sewers from whence they came.  Which reminds me, "New York SUCKS" chants follow the BOOs to which a nearby Met fans turns to say, "Your team is From New YORK!"  Other Mets' Fans join in to help all of Los Angeles understand that the Dodgers originated from Brooklyn.  

Aye, tis' true 

But, I heard the reply that spoke for ALL of US, 

"Yes, but they thought BETTER of it, and left.."  Just like so many do.

I digress

Although it hurt when Daniel Murphy hit that solo shot in the top of the fourth: the misery began earlier.

The fans started quieting down going into the third inning.  It was hot.  Game time temperature was reported as 92 degrees.  It felt warmer.  The crowd was a sell-out at 54,428.00  As you walked down the alley of the stadium towards the plate, the heat rose.  The were so many people and the air was completely still.

This may have only helped deGrom has he lit the Dodgers' lineup up fanning 13 in a record-setting NLDS performance combining with Kershaw for 24 (second most ever in a playoff game).

But, Kershaw had walks.  Four of them.

Three of which came in the fabled "seventh" to load the bases.  Without hesitation, Don Mattingly made the call.  He never went out like previous times.  Kershaw was yanked before Donnie Ballgame hit the chalk.

The entire TWC SportsNet panel were emo afterwards.  Hershiser may have led that charge and had this to say,

"
          I would tell you this: in the seventh inning, he's (Kershaw) is pitching in a one nothing game.  The walks don't bother me at all.

 He's pitching to get in the dugout with a ZERO.


so when he walks guys and he's taking the blame himself, he's thrown 113  pitches, he's walked the bases loaded,  he's Clayton Kershaw that's given up four hits.  One's a home run and he's in a one nothing game. He's walking a tightrope and he's trying to figure out a way to get his team in the dugout  with a ZERO,and he doesn't care if he has to do it with bases loaded and two outs.  He doesn't care HOW he gets em in the dugout! There was a sacrifice bunt, and a chopper. He wasn't getting hit! When he gets backed into the corner, with bases loaded 2 out, is he going to throw strikes to David Wright? He sure is! Right now when he's walking these guys he's trying to make meticulous pitches, to the corner, not give in to hitters because he's in a one-to-norhing ballgame."

 _Orel Hershiser

"And he (Kershaw)  knows that Curtis Granderson squared him up a couple times." _ J Hairston

"David Wright really wasn't swinging the bat well against Clayton Kershaw." J Hair

"I know and I feel bad talking about it because Don Mattingly is our friend.

It's an emotional decision for all of us." _ Hershiser

But, THIS is how I feel when Pedro Baez is asked to step in:



And, I feel this way because I saw him in preseason groove one to Albert Pujols.  It sickened me, thus I have this strange Pavlovian response when his name is called that evokes a gut-wrench, bordering on projectile vomit ever since that moment.  MISERY.

 Baez, Donnie? REALLY?







And, not only do I want to hurl when THIS hurl-er is announced but this happened too:




The lineup has changed for game 2 to possibly include more "pop."  Let's see how Kike and Yasmani fare.  My question is where are Puig and Jimmy Rollins?  Perhaps both HAVE fallen out of favor for different reasons but JR's veteran presence along with the huge "unknown" factor with Puig might pose more of a threat to the hard-throwing arms of the METS,

Nomar reminded the world how poorly the dodgers are versus velocity (something like .152 versus speed over 95 mph.)  OUCH.  That is miserable unto itself.

Gee, thanks Nomar...






Monday, September 29, 2014

BeaverTails and Poutine: #NBAMediaDay

Today was NBA Media Day.  Clip of ALL the Lakers Media Day can be seen here:

The secret to the LAkers success may lie here:

1) Bobby Sacre is Canadian:  In what "appeared" to be a pretty serious inquisition about Robert Sacre's "eth-ni-city" by Kelli Tennant , Mr. Sacre quickly shifted gears into speaking about his homeland's cuisine.  (whew, not the "border" issues that I THOUGHT we were going to discuss).

Often referred to as, "Adonnis", by SwaggyP, El Presidente de #Sacremento gave us ALL the secret to being a Greek God.

        Bobby Sac's Guide to Godly-ness

     A) Beavertails:  When Mr. Sacre presented Miss Tennant with the news of his eating Beavertails she seemed a bit speechless.

FerReal ?
I was too.  It sounded hilarious when Bobby delivered this "News," but he quickly followed up with an explanation of what, "BeaverTails" is.  Thank you, Mr. Sacre.

BeaverTails: The BeaverTails pastry is similar to several other fried dough pastries and is topped with a choice of sweet condiments and confections, such as whipped cream, banana slices, crumbled oreos, and Nutella. BeaverTails Canada Inc. through franchising currently operates 33 stores and 43 BeaverTails and Queues de Castor stands worldwide.[2] _wikipedia
 B) Poutine ( (/pˈtn/French: [putin]Quebec French:[put͡sɪn] ( )) Yes, this is pronounced just like "Putin." 







You're Welcome
This is Putin, riding a Bear (or is it the other way around?)



Poutine, however, "is a common Canadian dish, originating in Quebec, made with french fries, topped with a light brown gravy-like sauce and cheese curds.[1] This fast food dish can now be found across Canada, and is also found in some places in the northern United States and even the United Kingdom, where it is sometimes required to be described due to its exotic nature." _wikipedia

Curious.

Clearly, Mr. Sacre has enjoyed some BeaverTails and some Poutine this Summer.

Other than THAT, the only other "takeaway" was this:


(As Kobe Bryant leans in as if to say quietly to James Worthy and Geeter, "Why, in thee hell, is *Arash Markazi behind me taking a picture of the back of my head?"


But, instead, he said this:

" ..to NOT resist NATURE..."



(@kobebryant quote regarding his current health, status, and BEYOND)

*Arash Markazi rumored to have played an audio clip similar to THIS on LAkers Media Day.  Kobe, allegedly, heard it and made sure that Mr. Markazi was only "allowed" to take a picture of, "the back of my head," said Kobe, and, (pointing to his grill)  "because this is a money-maker and THAT will cost him MONEY!"  

 According to a "s o u r c e" the microphone sizzled, the PA went silent and there were glimpses of JB's ghost nearby.  

Oh, no, apparently it was Donald Sterling lurking about the halls as he is rumored to have a new "basketblog." 

Anyways, the point is this: not sure how "credible the source" IS. (must be ESPN related)

 Later, Mr. Markazi stated to Kobe that he had played "Death & Vader: The Empire Strikes Back," not the same "Empire Strikes Back theme the Lakers played for his comeback LAST season.


Clearly, the Great Kobe Bryant influenced by Vic the Brick Jacobs with his "bend don't break" Phil-o-so-phy.  May the student finally become the teacher in this year's journey to #purplengold excellence?

The Laker Rookies, both, are looking good with their work ethic and doing extremely well handling themselves as the young pros that they are.


I hope we all have a sense of humor like Mr. Bobby Sacre.  We can ALL learn from that.  I hope we ALL also learned a little bit about Canadian pastries in the meantime.  The Lakers WILL need the interior defense of Sacre this season to be more on point than his comedy game and THAT is saying a lot!







Thursday, September 18, 2014

Eff You, Alvarado

     eFF the Universe. Of course, I don't "mean" THAT.  Believing the things THAT I do, HOW I do, I would never really MEAN THAT.

But..

eFF YOU, Universe..
I believed IN You,
About YOU
And
Through YOU...

You were there for me..
You take care of me,
And I find solace in your care.
As you ARE everywhere
Universe.

eFF you, I say, as my hopes were dashed the other day
In L A.
Parked on a hill,
For some nearby thrills,
I pause as I see,
A parking ticket just staring back at me?

What's this?
I stop and check it out.
There IS no doubt.
This unsuspecting soul received this ticket from whom you say?
Alvarado?
OK.

What am I to do as I have no permit and
Apparently Alvarado is the parking hermit?
Around here,
Maybe there.

What Universe, what?
Do I "take" the ticket?
No, that's a negative and I don't want to "pick" it.
The envelope?

If I could just ...

The lights on the victim's car flash.
No time to dash.

And moments later,
A young lady learns of her fates here
Alvarado's wrath is felt
and I feel like the Universe, perhaps, has allowed a new hand to be dealt?

Pay it forward?
"Excuse me miss, um, I was wondering if I could have that envelope?"
Without hesitation she quickly replies "yes" and moments later I apply this "dress" to my windshield as the Alvarado- ness may now appear to have already made this mess..
Thank you, Universe, thank you!

Borrowing the envelope causes no disruption and impacts no one negatively so all is right with glee I do believe..
End up even sharing the news with folks universe because it was meant to be and I had to share that experience and my glee, indeed..

Hours later,  I arrive back at the tract
I look and see the envelope in tact,
I decide to take it out and check inside
Of shit I got my own ticket_ surprise!




eFF You, Universe
O M G
What's this?
M A Z D..
Shit!
I drive a Mazda
That's my plate
How did this shit become MY fate?

I mean, I planted the envelope
And played the faux ticky
An awesome young female even made it less tricky
Damn you Alvarado are you going for SWAT!?
Does this really mean a whole lot!?
To hit me for your 68?
As I head out of LA late?

I curse you universe because we had a deal.
A karmic connection that for sure was sealed.
Alvarado, Alvarado, eFF YOU Alvarado!
Don't know if you're a dude or a gal
But YOU saw my game
And called my bluff,
But did you REALLY have to make things this rough?

Next time, I'll make sure to abide
As the Dude does , with his philosophy in stride
Onward and upward to other things greater
I just can't believe that this Alvarado got the better
Of me,
This time,
Playing me the fool
Like a melancholy. soul and a sophomoric tool...





Sunday, June 29, 2014

Sunset Stripped: The Escort

     Have you ever had an escort on the Sunset Strip in Hollywood, California?  Sounds intriguing, right?  To many it is.  And, in Hollywood, especially "WeHo" (West Hollywood) anything, no doubt IS possible.  Male?  Female? Transsexual?  Perhaps, but that's NOT the kind of escort I am referring to.  The kind where one might convince another by suggesting, "I need Fifty Dollar to make you Holler..I get PAID to do the Wild Thing.."

     I'm talking about an escort of another kind.  This particular escort came in the package of a very large African-American Male that is approximately 6 foot 5 inches tall.  I think he was closer to 6 foot 7 but I am under-estimating due to the fact that estimating height in an inebriated state tends to "enhance" things a tad.   Much like, "objects in mirror appear to be closer than they really are.  Dude was large, like 325 LBs, and clearly " in charge."

     A friend and I decided to head to the ballgame.  The Dodgers were playing Saturday (June 28, 2014) at 4:15 pm.  We found ridiculously cheap tickets online and proceeded to head out.  We were in no hurry and were really in a mode of just taking everything in stride.  We ended up meeting all sorts of great fans and the Dodgers won the game on a brilliant effort by Greinke and a 6-run second inning by the offense.   From there, we decided that we might check out The Comedy Store.  Why Not?  We head there on occasion and often times just spend time on the patio enjoying a cold beverage and shooting the shit.  On this occasion we were fortunate enough to spend some time with two amazingly beautiful and super sweet young ladies before they hit up a booty-shakin hoedown going on at the HOB across the street.
     
     Little did we know that Chris Rock decided to pop in at The Comedy Store (again).  We had been at The Comedy Store when he was there a couple of months ago.  We didn't have that ticket and the place was packed.  We like to catch Don Barris closing "the store" down but the show was still a ways from being closed as it was about 9:30 pm or maybe ten o'clock.
So, we decided to head out from there, up the strip, to the Laugh Factory.  The marquis read: Dane Cook, Don Irrera, Tommy Davidson.  No shit?  We wait in line and buy a ticket for entry.  We had to hang in the VIP as there really were not too many seats. As people left, we could meander in.   I found a back bench spot in the upper deck while Dane Cook performed.  Eventually, Mr. Cook was asking the audience to ask him anything.  Someone had mentioned a "rusty trombone" and he worked that right into a full description complete with "trom-boner-like" sound effects and demonstration.  The sound effects consisted more of what we know to be circus, or clown, music and the demo was acted out completely with the appropriate hand gestures.  Hilarious.

The next comedian was Mr. Dom Irrera. 

Dom Irrera: June 28, 2014 PHOTO: CBigupps



    I believe Mr. Cook had stayed on for a little while longer than what was "planned" because Mr. Irrera's first comments related to that, "gee, I guess when you're Dane Cook you get to stay on as long as you want.." From there, it seemed as though the set was a bit awkward, to say the least.  There were at least two occasions when Mr. Irrera looked and commented about getting off the stage.  He asked, "Jamie.. do I really have to stay on?  I mean, give me a light (to go off) or something.."
     It seemed as though there were moments of picking up a little steam but it felt like things were just a bit off and perhaps the overall vibe and connection was not there.  It happens.  Dom is a pro.  An absolute pro.  And he has been in the comedy business for at least 50 years.
     I had moved up and found a spot on the rail (still in the upper tank) where I could see the comedian much better.  Dom made a joke where he mentioned something about a person's life being so bad that all they do is sit around and "eat frozen dinners while watching the Jetsons.."  


    Animation Business , Cartoons , Mediafreaks Articles 

     For whatever reason, I decided to speak up.  I said, "well, eating TV dinners and watching the Jetsons doesn't sound too terrible.."  He said, "what?  Who said that?"  He gets directed to where I am sitting and all eyes are now on me.  I repeat myself.  He proceeds to say, " well, are we talking about other people's problems or is this really about some deep-seeded issues of your own now?"  I volunteer, "Oh, it could be about other people but I have no doubt this is about my issues for sure."  It was at this moment that I get a tap on the shoulder.  I look up and a gentleman is asking me to leave.  I look at him with a very confused look on my face as Dom Irrera is still talking to me.  "Oh...are they kicking him out? Dom asks.  "Oh, man, don't kick him out I like that guy.  He spent money to be in here and I don't want to see anyone get kicked out."  

     I'm with you Mr. Irrera.  Well, I WOULD BE, but I'm being "escorted" out RIGHT NOW!
My large male escort steps in, very aggressively, shaking his extremely large head and waving an appendage in my face.

"You've got to go.  You've got to go right now."

   I get up.  I still have no clue as to what the hell is going on and why.  Dude now is in my grill and I am remaining somewhat calm because I actually think this is a joke.  

"You cannot talk to the comedians," says the escort.

    Earlier, Dane Cook was talking to many people in the audience and working that into his act, as many comedians do.

"Go out right there...Now open that door right there and go out!"  

"What the fuck is happening and where the fuck am I going," I think to myself.

I end up at the back end of the building at a side door that leads out to a rickety ol, rusty trombone-like, white wrought-iron gate.  I then do what any self-respecting victim of having a large male escort "show you his back door" at a comedy club. 

I SLAM the shit out of the ass-gate.  


I look up to the corner on Sunset.  A couple spots me and yells out, "Did you get kicked out?"  I bee- line right for them.

"Yeah, I mean, I was engaging the comedian and he was cool and actually asking ME questions so I replied."

"Oh.. yeah," the young lady remarks, "they are kinda strict in that club..it happens, but you can go back in."

"Sweet!  Thank you!" I say with a smile, and proceed to approach the club to re-enter.

     At this point I have no idea where my buddy is and my credit card is also still with the club.  
Will my large male escort allow me to re-enter?  Should I try the back door?  I definitely did NOT want to get "the SHAFT"..

     I head in and the door man asks if I have been in already, and I just nod and head right for the lower club entrance.  As I am walking in, and now very much closer to my pal, Dom Irrera, I see my buddy walking towards me followed by "the escort."  

     "Holy shit (I say to myself), HE is getting ESCORTED TOO?!  WOW!"  I quickly turn away and try to just duck into a seat.  Two seconds later, "the escort" grabs my shoulder and quickly gets me into the front area.  Dude is LIVID.  He is yelling at me, shaking his finger, waiving his hands and his head and sweating PROFUSELY!

Dude, do you need a break or what?  Is something I DID NOT say, but was thinking.  Heart medication? Doctor? A fucking EVAC to the nearest ER? I'm JUST Sayin, Dude is large and he was struggling from walking down the stairs ONE TIME..

    I decided to not stay in what was a bit of a yelling match.  I may have dropped 10 or 15 F-Bombs to this point. I quickly start inquiring about how we wouldn't be getting anywhere until he calmed down and asked him why HE was so upset.  I mean, WHAT DID WE DO?!  FINALLY, I got "the escort" to say, "ok..let's hear your side of the story."  In his ranting and raving and finger and neck waiving (and sweating) he did mention that "the rule" is that you cannot speak to the comedian.

I respond by saying that well, if that rule was said to us, which I am not saying that it was or wasn't, that I clearly forgot.  I want you to know that I intentionally did not mean to disregard "the rule" and meant no disrespect at all."  

     In fact, we were  treated extremely well there.  The waitresses were gorgeous AND gracious.  The manager, presumably, was an absolute pro and a darling to us.  She was the one who rallied us all together and brought us up to the VIP.   When she entered the room "the escort" said, "this guy just got done saying that YOU never told them the rule."  "WHAT?!"
"Dude!  I just got done saying that is certainly NOT the case!"  This dude was a real piece of work.  I get upset because I felt that I have now betrayed this sweetheart of a lady.  We continue to get through the discussion and established terms to re-enter (club seating)and I am in agreement.  My buddy wanted his money back for getting treated this way.  They said there would be no refunds and so he decided to shake their hands and leave.  What was I to do? Do I also shake the escort?  Do I bail on my buddy? 

     "Oh yeah, well.. F-YOU!  At that moment, the soothing sounds of of Cee Lo Green kick off in my head, " uh "Fuck you, and uh fuck her too!"  





Ya know? I rant for a bit with my escort who kicks me out and I didn't even get to penetrate at the lower level...?

My escort simply replied,"Please come again."

OH, the envy of ALL drug induced, drunken sunset warriors that brave being stripped by escorts of another kind.  Should I tell them?  Should I tell them what MY escort said to me?  Those three little words that every man wants to hear after an evening of close companionship and intimacy..

Well, the Laugh Factory certainly got their trick, we got hosed, and Sunset treated us once again at the door.

-Chauncey and Bob on the Strip

@CBigUpps